All posts by Devin Barker

Advanced Wars: Days of Ruin:

Advanced wars for the GBA was one of my fav games for the system, so picking up Advanced wars for the DS seemed like a no brainer… I was wrong. Advanced wars DS just seems to have all of the standard features that the GBA and other games of the genera have, but none of the stuff that makes a game unique. One of my favorite features of the first game was the different “effects” of the generals that you can choose to lead your army. It really gave a nice ace up the sleeve strategy to the game. Now I did not finish the DS version but I am about 15 missions in and have yet to receive a singe “power” or “buff”. While this feature may be in the game, its taking way to long to introduce it. I also found the plot really boring, much like the game play. All and all the whole game just seemed really generic and boring. I do plan to go back and finish the game, and if anything mind blowing does show up I will return to report my findings and adjust my assessment.

A big fat 2 out of 10

Arkham Asylum:

With the release of the much anticipated sequel (which I’m loving the shit out of BTW) I thought it would be a good idea to review the the first title, Arkham Asylum. This (in my opinion) was a game that just did everything right; a very gritty and modern looking game with a solid combat system that only suffered (very minutely) from some clipping and collision detection issues. If just having a solid game isn’t good enough, the entire cast of the 1990’s Batman: The Animated Series make a long awaited return. With that cast joining the party, this means we get my personal favorite Joker (notice I don’t say voice, seriously better than Nicholson) which is the icing on the scrumtrelesant cake that is Arkham Asylum. There are few games I can recommend higher than Arkham Asylum.

9.5 out of 10 Edited by B. Truex Listening to Pennywise “Fuck Authority”

Borderlands:

 

Borderlands is a gritty, cutthroat, shoot em up by Gearbox and 2k Games. The comic book like graphics and expansive arsenal are very quick and easy reasons to like the game. Peppered with a style of humor that is not afraid to take a stab at it self, and a heapin’ helpin’ of expansions sets the perfect meal of gory, raunchy yummyness. And for desert, it’s re-playable as all hell. I’ve personally beaten the game several times and never get full from it.

 

9.5/10 (really, this is one of the best games IV’E ever played)

 

Mass Effect (yes, the first one):

 

Mass Effect is a well crafted and epically written RPG by BioWare and Microsoft Game Studios. I really enjoyed how the game felt while playing it, and I really enjoyed the story line. Having said that, Mass Effect is a huge game with a lot to do, and even more to read. While this is typical for this type of game (and I do loves me a good RPG) I found my self, in cases of short playing time, doing more talking than killing. Now to be fair, that time talking was well used getting down with blue alien chicks, but was most daunting during weapon and item purchases. Moving from screen to screen between armor, weapons, and items was kind of awful. All ranting aside, Mass Effect is a very fun game; more than worth the twenty bucks you can probably find it for at your local video game retail establishment.

Choose your words

Sometimes a simple act of speaking can yield uncomfortable results. Everyone has had that moment in conversation when they’ve not committed to their choice of words, and changed their mind mid sentence. Don’t shake your head at me, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Ever call someone Man, then decide calling them Dude would sound cooler, and you come out with some mutant pronoun called Mude?

One time I went to a teacher of mine and opened with, “Hey Kathy,” then figured Professor Hunt would have been more appropriate. That day I learned the hard way that there is no easy way out of calling your teacher a Kunt.

Don’t try this at home.

Welcome One and All

So it looks like this is finally going to get started. We have spent almost three months working at it and since we are all kind of technically challenged it has been a hard road. However expect good things as the 5D team gets its shit together and we finally force our thoughts and opinions on you.